Procrastinating!!!

There are days where struggles take over, but I thank God that He brings me through.  I opened up with Teresa the other day about 'end of term' problems i have been facing, past temptations arising, etc, and it seems that my heart struggles with accepting forgiveness.  Repentance is a two-way issue, and at times, even when I turn 180 towards God, I don't forgive myself for things that should be left at the cross.  The issue is that I don't love myself enough to turn over the problems that I face, nor tell people anything about what I am dealing with.  I have always known this, but I hate how it builds to the point where I have no control over the situation, nor give it over to the One who loves me.

Teresa and I talked for a while about this and eventually she told me that I really needed to sit down and pray about it.  For once, I went to 'my place' (the place where I imagine I am when I pray to spend time with God... thanks Elim and Shu... YEAH triad!) and He revealed so much to me that I needed to know.  At times I felt alone, but knowing that He was wanting to help me and I was not letting Him was part of the problem.  Praise God!

Anyway, that is a recent update... and ONCE AGAIN, I am ashamed to say there are no pics from Ottawa to upload yet.  They will pop around eventually.  The family computer downstairs is still not working (*Sniff*)... One of these days!!!! (reminds me of that song by FFH... haha)

One more thing before I take off, while this blogpage is still new, I decided to also open up an account with myspace... I will still be posting on this blog regularly (and occasionally... but rarely MSN space), but the other site is http://www.myspace.com/god_candy.  Please feel free to sign up and join on my list of friends... if you are uncomfortable with that, make up a name, etc... haha.  I would love to have you connect with some other friends I am making there.  I will be sending an email to you guys either way.

I will talk to you all later! :)

Love ya!

Rebecca

My Lemon, My Treasure, My Friend

Please note that this poem is not intended to be mean, but writing to cope with my feelings.  I sometimes like to write poetry to reflect issues of hurt or shame or anything that gives me a difficult time.  Tonight was such a night.  But this poem is not meant to condemn the person but rather to understand what is going on inside me.

Really hurt, really upset
You said things you should never have said
I cannot understand why you would respond that way
And have these words stay in my head

You question me for who I am and what I do
And say things to hurt the heart
If you understood what I know now
You would think it is rather smart

Yet your judgement is beyond your character
From what I know about you
You have changed into someone I don't know
Completely different through and through

There use to be joy behind your smile
Your laugh use to bring joy to my face
You don't fool me now with that mask of yours
When we remain in one place

I wish I could help you, I wish that I could
But you only seem to push away
And despite my anger and my hurt
I will always love you every day

I recall the precious beauty of a tender child
I enjoy the happiness she brings
Her small voice and soft dancing
As she would start to sing

I cry when I think of her because she is gone
I wish she would come back
But praise God for bringing this gift to me
And allowing me to see the love that which I lack

You may be different, you may hurt me
But one thing I know is true
You are my lemon, my treasure, my friend
And I will always love you.

Arthur: Oh, what a perfect stuffed owl.
Archimedes the Owl: [huffing] Stuffed... I beg your pardon?
Arthur: He's alive, and he talks!
Archimedes the Owl: And certainly a great deal better than you do!
_______________________________

Archimedes the Owl: Haha, oh Man will fly all right... hohohoho... Just like a rock! [laughing]
_______________________________

Hi again to everyone, I watched Sword in the Stone not too long ago and had a good laugh at this movie.  I have not seen it for a long time and forgot how much I loved Archimedes the Owl.  I think he is one of my favorite Disney cartoon characters, simply because he is one of the funniest.  Quite a witty little thing if you ask me.  Thought I would have a post strictly about him.

Back to studying... talk to you all later!

Hello everyone,

Okay, I know I said those pictures from Ottawa were going to be up shortly after my last post and I did load them onto the family computer downstairs at home for posting later that day.  However, the family computer has been acting up ALOT lately and it has prevented me from putting pictures on there - as in the computer keeps freezing on me.  So bear with me for the time being.  I am procrastinating right now I decided to find a few pictures that I could add just to help with the waiting time.  The first two are from Valentine's Day at the Rugby Beach Club.  I went out with 12 other women for Valentine's Day and had a good time.  I had the most delicious Tiramisu, and these pictures show the tiramisu and me eating it.  So good!  Sadly, the picture of me there is hideous, but I don't care.  You guys can just live with it.  I also just a few days before Valentine's Day made a cool bag at the women's Breathe retreat and I decided to put it on the webpage.

Until I get those pictures onto this site from my trip to Ottawa, I will probably be behind in posts.  I had three essays due in the next little while and I have to get the ball rolling on one of them.

Talk to you all soon and I hope that you are having a bright and wonderful day!

Rebecca